Mushin rang the bell twice ending the first period of zazen in our beautiful Zoom zendo. I kept sitting as he bowed and left the room. Heather appeared on the screen and took a sip of her tea. It's okay in the Zoom zendo to bring your tea. It's forgotten soon enough in the heap of home goods stacked neatly in the little video squares allotted to each participant. She bowed and rang the bell three times to begin the second period of zazen.
Zazen practiced authentically we sit with all beings and all things and all times. When we can, we let go of our identities, desires, aversions and stories we can begin to turn to the knower of Truth or just the awareness of everything. We all share the same awareness. Shakyamuni Buddha shares this too. Make a light of yourself he said. We can just be the light. The awareness. Buddha's awareness. Zazen is sitting in it.
I don't usually keep sitting through two periods of meditation. The need comes and goes. An hour sitting is really not that different than a half-hour or 20 minutes. Once the second period begins many of the "holy crap" thoughts kind of turn back to the thoughts or feelings similar to the beginning of the first period. But, the world and my mind does settle much deeper. Also, when I get caught up in thinking or attractive parts of the world it is much quicker to find myself embodying the samadhi again.
Samadhi is always here.
Mushin and Heather are deeply devoted practitioners. We sit together. I have chills remembering Mushin's jukai ceremony. Last night we began the journey toward jukai with Heather. I think she has been on the journey for a long time. I think we have all been on it for a long time. It feels so natural sometimes.
Today I'm feeling like I'm finally coming down a bit from the last few weeks' "spiritual" high. One day I was so alive and free I thought "I could die right now" and I laughed out loud standing on my motorcycle pegs flying down Page Hill and all of sudden a pink cloud formed a heart in the sky. The next day, everything broke and I lost a lot of stuff including some money and it felt so good to realize my attachments. I danced in the mud while Vic took a break. I literally danced to some reggae blaring in my ear buds. I was so glad to be alive in that moment. For all I knew I was stuck four miles down a dirt road.
I'm good with coming back to Earth a bit. I love sharing the connection with everyone. That light. The magic of life. "The secret language known by us since all time" in the Alchemist. Jamie is forgotten but not unknown. He's part of it. Just keep sitting and sitting.
Heather rang the bell twice ending the second period in the Zoom zendo.
We are the ocean of awareness zazen is sitting in it.